allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
From this post at [livejournal.com profile] metaquotes:

I think the Amazons would approve.

I need to invent a new martial art.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love me some tae kwon do. The concentration on leg movements is right up my alley, and I still get a good arm workout. And I figure I can at least damage an attacker a little bit in a fight, which is always handy.

But as I was running through forms yesterday, I kept realizing that there’s just one thing that makes it a bit awkward.

Okay, two things.

I mean, I have a sports bra, but even when crushed, the great uniboob is still there, complicating things. How in the hell am I supposed to do snap middle-blocks when my elbow keeps rebounding off my chest? How can I do that special move in one of my forms where the hands come together, arms straight, and point them at the floor? They either wind up resting on the top and pointing at an angle, or I have to just squeeze the boobs between my biceps, and either way it looks ridiculous.

And I’m afraid to spar because chest kicks have always presented something of a pain issue.

I’m hoping exercise brings them down to manageable portions, but until then I need another martial art. So I propose that women with this particular attribute start our own school,* the school of tae kwon boob do. We would learn moves that could be done around our enormous chests, we could figure out how to block attacks to that area, and during warm-ups there would be no shame in the Run-And-Clutch or the Jumping Jacks With Arms Folded. Along with belts our symbols of achievement will be colored bras. And we would kick everyone’s ass.

Come on, you just know this would catch on. Who’s with me?

As one of the unfortunate giganto-boobied, I'd pay good money to take such a martial art. Well, if I had it. *smirk*


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
Damn, that looks like some yummy cake.

cake with 'mouth' and 'eyes' 'eyes next victim'

And what looks like a pecan pie on the left!

Too...much...dessert... *ded*


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
Actually, Loved One has been back for some time, but, you know, OPSEC.

*bouncy!*


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
I just can't think of anything to say.

(Anything interesting, at least.


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
Wait a minute, of course I missed it! It's The View. All I've ever seen of that show was clips on teh YouTube.

Anyhow, here it is:


It includes the story of how Rachel met her partner, Susan. She was working on her dissertation, and doing odd jobs to make ends meet. Susan had hired her to do some yard work. Rachel knocked, Susan opened the door, and there were "comets and shooting stars." She said "it was sort of a gay Desperate Housewives."

Awesome interview overall. I luffs teh Maddow. ^___^


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
Yo.

(No...really...I can has life. :P)


*sigh*

Mar. 9th, 2009 09:16 pm
allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
This has not been a good week, in any part of my life.

I need a hug. :(


So. TIRED.

Feb. 27th, 2009 09:13 pm
allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
Work's been keeping me mad busy.

I can has holiday?

[ No, you no can has holiday! ]


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
And that I didn't last night.

Otherwise I'd be as MASSIVELY HUNGOVER as the others.

Hey, mate! J's already using the toilet! You can't BOTH use it, use the bathtub!

*goes out for the day*


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
I hope everyone's Christmas/December 25th was a good one. Mine was spent at a friend's place eating and eating and eating.

BRRRRAAAAAP.


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
It's easier than remembering birthdays. And I can send one big gift (instead of two okay gifts) towards the end of the year while sales are going on and shipping from some sites is cheaper than the rest of the year. (An important consideration when you're far from home.)

And it's a good excuse to give gifts to people whose birthday you don't know, and who would think it weird if you just gave them something. "I saw this at a shop and I thought you'd like it, and it was on sale..." "Okay, what do you want?" "Nothing! I just...saw it...and thought of you." "Riiiight."

And no one ever believes me. :(

So if I find something a friend or acquaintance might like, and can afford it, I get it and set it aside, and then one weekend in December I wrap the gifts in seasonal (yet secular) gift wrap.

I get to do my gift-giving AND not have to memorize birthdays AND not look like a weirdo.

At least religion's good for something. :P


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
Because I'm an atheist, though from a Christian family, and they know I'm an atheist, yet they snipe at me for not "getting into the Christmas spirit." If they were just taking the piss I could let it go, but they mean it!

The one saving grace of all this Christmas crap: the parodies/snark! (And the sugar cookies. Okay, there are two.)

My current favourite: Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, this one's for you!


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
What happened to all the Star Trek books?! There isn't even a whole shelf's worth anymore. And why is the Star Wars section expanding?

MOAR TREK PLZ.


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)

Yyyyyyep, pretty much. :)


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
cat: iz on a fence. not political or nuffin, just onna fence.

Nice. :)


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
Apparently sending candy was a bad idea. Some of it melted on the letter I wrote. D:


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] fizzylizard just showed me the site abstinenceonly.com. Anal Abstinence, Homosexual Abstinence, Group Abstinence, etc. ;)

Here's a "your stories" letter:

Dear AbstinenceOnly,

I never thought something like this would happen to me.

A bunch of us from our church group got bored one day and started masturbating each other through our clothes in the rectory. Guys were rubbing girls who were rubbing guys in a great big daisy-chain of abstinence I'll remember for as long as I'll live.

Anyway, I was nestled between the legs of this girl I'd been watching in Bible study, while somebody else was rubbing away at my crotch. There was another girl laying across my chest and I had this great view of her breasts. Suddenly I felt this surge of energy, like a great white light. The Holy Spirit had entered me and immediately exited into my pants.

But then the girl who's breasts I'd been lusting after got up and I discovered that I'd just been masturbated through my jeans by my cousin Karl.

Does this mean I'm gay? Is it gay if you don't know it's a guy? To make matters worse, my dog has started humping my leg a lot, and I think I'm enjoying it. What does that mean?

Sincerely,

Wondering in Walla Walla


Emphasis mine. ;)


WOW. O.O

Aug. 18th, 2008 10:55 pm
allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
Phelps wins historic eighth gold.

I haven't even watched the Olympics this year. Mostly because I'm not that interested in sport, but partly because it's being held in China, with the human rights abuses and all.

But I've been kept apprised of the goings-on in Beijing by HALF OF EVERY NEWS PROGRAM EVER.

Anyhow, eight gold medals in one Olympics is a HUGE deal, especially considering how good you have to be just to GET to the Olympics! Rock on, Mr. Phelps. :)


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