allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
It's easier than remembering birthdays. And I can send one big gift (instead of two okay gifts) towards the end of the year while sales are going on and shipping from some sites is cheaper than the rest of the year. (An important consideration when you're far from home.)

And it's a good excuse to give gifts to people whose birthday you don't know, and who would think it weird if you just gave them something. "I saw this at a shop and I thought you'd like it, and it was on sale..." "Okay, what do you want?" "Nothing! I just...saw it...and thought of you." "Riiiight."

And no one ever believes me. :(

So if I find something a friend or acquaintance might like, and can afford it, I get it and set it aside, and then one weekend in December I wrap the gifts in seasonal (yet secular) gift wrap.

I get to do my gift-giving AND not have to memorize birthdays AND not look like a weirdo.

At least religion's good for something. :P

allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)
[ profile] fizzylizard just showed me the site Anal Abstinence, Homosexual Abstinence, Group Abstinence, etc. ;)

Here's a "your stories" letter:

Dear AbstinenceOnly,

I never thought something like this would happen to me.

A bunch of us from our church group got bored one day and started masturbating each other through our clothes in the rectory. Guys were rubbing girls who were rubbing guys in a great big daisy-chain of abstinence I'll remember for as long as I'll live.

Anyway, I was nestled between the legs of this girl I'd been watching in Bible study, while somebody else was rubbing away at my crotch. There was another girl laying across my chest and I had this great view of her breasts. Suddenly I felt this surge of energy, like a great white light. The Holy Spirit had entered me and immediately exited into my pants.

But then the girl who's breasts I'd been lusting after got up and I discovered that I'd just been masturbated through my jeans by my cousin Karl.

Does this mean I'm gay? Is it gay if you don't know it's a guy? To make matters worse, my dog has started humping my leg a lot, and I think I'm enjoying it. What does that mean?


Wondering in Walla Walla

Emphasis mine. ;)


allandra_dax: Doctor Who's TARDIS in the snow (Default)

June 2010

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