Oh. My. Well...God, I guess. :P

fizzylizard just showed me the site abstinenceonly.com. Anal Abstinence, Homosexual Abstinence, Group Abstinence, etc. ;)

Here's a "your stories" letter:

Dear AbstinenceOnly,

I never thought something like this would happen to me.

A bunch of us from our church group got bored one day and started masturbating each other through our clothes in the rectory. Guys were rubbing girls who were rubbing guys in a great big daisy-chain of abstinence I'll remember for as long as I'll live.

Anyway, I was nestled between the legs of this girl I'd been watching in Bible study, while somebody else was rubbing away at my crotch. There was another girl laying across my chest and I had this great view of her breasts. Suddenly I felt this surge of energy, like a great white light. The Holy Spirit had entered me and immediately exited into my pants.

But then the girl who's breasts I'd been lusting after got up and I discovered that I'd just been masturbated through my jeans by my cousin Karl.

Does this mean I'm gay? Is it gay if you don't know it's a guy? To make matters worse, my dog has started humping my leg a lot, and I think I'm enjoying it. What does that mean?

Sincerely,

Wondering in Walla Walla

Emphasis mine. ;)

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